I can't believe that it was 7 years ago tomarrow that this incredible boy was placed on loan to our family. He was only with us a short 21 months, but he taught us so much. His example is eternal. We strive each day to join him again.Most of you have probably heard Kazen's incredible story. It started over a year before he was born. My doctor told me after Karadie was born that I was not to have any more children. He told me to consider a hysterectomy sooner than later. I couldn't bring myself to one more surgery, so we waited. Cameron had a very sacred and special experience that I won't share now, but in essence, he let me know that one more was waiting to come to our family. I knew he was right. I knew that Heavenly Father would bless me to be alright if we brought one more spirit into our family.
I wasn't blessed the way I wanted to be. Are we really ever? I wanted a healthy pregnancy with no bed rest. I pretty much told the Lord that too. He knew I needed to learn obedience and patience, so instead of being in bed for 10 weeks, I was in bed for 20 weeks! Awesome!
Kazen joined our family 4 weeks early. He spent 2 weeks in the NICU at LDS Hospital. Time was spent on the ventilator, off the ventilator, on the ventilator, and off again. At first he didn't want to eat, but once he figured out nursing, he was a super fabulous eater (of course we had to wait until he was off the ventilator). After spending 2 days under lights for jaundice we brought him home weighing 5 lb. 7 oz. ( he lost 3 oz. after he was born).
The girls were immediately in love with their baby brother. The never left him alone. It amazed me he ever learned to walk, for the girls hauled him everywhere. He wasn't much smaller than they were, but they treated him like a baby doll and carried him wherever they felt he needed to go. The afternoon we brought him home from the hospital Cameron and I crashed on the living room floor. I layed on the couch and Cameron layed on the floor with Kazen in his arms. Cameron woke with a start wondering if I had picked him up to nurse him, but when he realized I was sound asleep he began to FREAK out! We started searching all over the house, soon to discover Karina had carried him downstairs to her room and gently placed him in her doll crib. She sweetly explained to her daddy that Kazen wanted to play and she was just looking after him. That's how the rest of his life was. His sisters were always looking after him. Now it is his turn to look after all of us.
We have felt his presence near many times. We love you buddy. We can't wait to be with you again! Happy Birthday!
Cameron and Kazen in
St. George
Up to trouble!
Halloween
2002
Christmas
2002
1 week before his passing.
He thought he was so cool
sitting in this car.
11 comments:
Ah I don't know what to say but, I love you and thanks for sharing.
What a sweet post! Thanks for sharing with us... What a darling little boy, he looks so dang cute in all those pictures.
What can I say but I miss him?! Sometimes it hurts-you know how close he and I were. I can still hear his little sigh and everytime I smell syrup I think of him. He will always be our little baby Kazen. Thank you for letting him be a part of my life as well as your girls. I love you all!
Ok so I cried while I read all that. What a cute little guy. But It is so great to know that families are forever. I can't even think that if something were to happen to Hannah we wouldn't be together forever. That is what is so great about our faith. I love it. I love you guys
Robyn, Thank you for sharing this with us. Thank you for letting us into your life so personally. I can't wait to meet Kazen. He's so adorable. I hope this is a day of happy memories. We love you guys!
Oh Robyn, I am so sorry. I know that you wouldn't want me to feel sorry for you, but I can't help the heartbreak I feel when you share parts of your sweet Kazen's life. I just sit back in awe and wonder how someone is able to experience the kind of thing you have and still be a functioning human being. I couldn't. I know I couldn't and cry at the possibility of ever having to. You are an amazing, strong woman. I really admire your strength and testimony, I sometimes wonder if I would be able to be like you if I had been dealt the same hand. I don't think I could. You have handled everything with such strength and dignity. I am in awe.
I love you!
Thanks for letting me spend this special day with you. I love you.
How lucky he is to have sisters who took such constant care of him...even if it meant being transported carefully to a doll crib! How lucky to have a family who loves him so much! I can't imagine such a loss. The only comfort I could cling to is our knowledge of how the eternities work. So many don't have our peace about death. Best wishes continuing with life!
Wow lots and lots of memories come rushing back!!!!
It's taken me 15 minutes to find the right words to write. I can only say OUR family reunion (the whole gang) will be incredible. Everybody that means anything to us will be there and that day indeed will be amazing. Happy birthday Kazen - See you soon! We love you guys.
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