Lately at our house there has been much discussion about vomitting. I always thought I had a strong stomach, but have learned not so much. There lots of things that make me vomit. Some understanbly and some quite surprising. Here's my list in no particular order. Some just don't need an explanation.
1. The stomach flu
2. Pregnancy (no this is NOT an announcement)
3. Bad smells
4. Exercise. A few months back I was at the Rec Center working out. I had run a couple of laps to warm-up then went to the bikes. The lady seated next to me was VERY large. I glanced at her screen and saw that she was biking at a higher level and faster. I thought to myself "I'm not as big as her and I'm younger. I'm sure I can easily keep up with her. It about killed me, but I did it. My time was done and I headed off to the weights. I think I did one rep. Quickly got up, headed down the stairs and out the door. Yep, I left my mark in the parking lot and continued on home.
5. Extreme hunger
6. Disgusting food like I don't know but really gross food.
7. Tension between my husband and me
8. My mother-in-law. After my father-in-law passed away, we have had no contact with my mil, except on the rare occassion in court (another very long story). Thursday I was shopping at Costco and upon leaving saw her, her mom, and her daughter sitting at the food court. I began pushing my cart faster and tried not to make eye-contact. I really didn't want a scene with Pollie and bulieve me, she would cause I scene. I'm pretty sure I threw up in my mouth and pooped down both sides of my legs. Not a pretty picture.
9. Sad/bad news
10. Watching someone else vomit.
11. Hairy moles. Back in the day when I was giving a lot of massages, on occassion I would have a client with over a million moles on their bodies, all having pokey outey hairs attached to them. So gross.
12. Crap stuck between the folds of peoples skin. Again, when I was massaging, and not literaly crap, but yucky dead skin stuff.
13. Body odor. I shower 2 and 3 times a day because I can't stand the smell on other people.
14. Toe nails. Have you ever looked at peoples toe nails. They are so nasty. Some are broken, yellow, and have things living on them. Some just don't exhist. Really sick.
15. Field dressing. I don't like watching the guts come out of an animal, however it does not bother me to flesh them. I know strange.
8 comments:
This has to be one of the oddest posts ever! It's so funny yet so gross.
I don't know whether to thank you or vomit over you!
i would have thought that maybe that had been a REALLY late night post but not so much huh? You are a funny but very strange person and that's why I love you! Thanks again for yesterday
Ok... Talk about left field?! And, while we're on the subject, "Field Dressing"? What is that? I've NEVER heard that before. This post is fantastic... As for the whole gym, running, biking and vomiting story... I"m really not that HUGE, and you kept up with me just fine!!! :)
You make me laugh REALLY hard. You know the day I threw up and you know it wasn't you biking next to me. Ha, ha, very funny.
This post should have come with a disclaimer "Do not read anywhere near meal time." Thanks. Or maybe you should write literature to help people out with their diets! Could be profitable.
this seriously is one of m favorite posts of yours! And all the comments are making me laugh almost as hard as the post!
Fun,I want to play too, except you already named all the things that also make me vomit. Darn it, I thought and thought about what you weremissing, but you pretty much covered it all. Oh wait, except for those portable toilets or out houses. Those pretty much make ya sick as well. O.K. I it's been covered. Nice work detective.
The other thing that will make me puke is watching Orthopedic surgery! Seriously, I had to leave a couple times during my paramedic rotations. Especially when they would get out the Dewalt drills to help out. That was just pushing it too far for me. It's called cruel and unusual punishment in my book!
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